III. I Take The Tour, Part Two

The next morning the tour headed out into the jungle as advertised. I wore my blue jeans because they didn’t stink of bat guano. This was not a good idea; jeans have no flexibility or freedom of movement, and they get very heavy when wet, like, say, oh… just for example, when you fall into a river.

During a river crossing early in the trek, I slipped on a mossy rock and fell in, soaking my jeans. I trudged to the bank and took them off, uncovering several thick, happy, blood-engorged leeches on my legs, trailing streams of blood. My blood.

When people think of leeches they usually think of the scene in The African Queen, when Bogie comes out of the water covered with them looking like huge slabs of raw liver. That may be true of African or Hollywood leeches, but Thai leeches are a bit smaller. In fact, when they aren’t blood-engorged, they’re kind of cute. They look like tapered black inchworms, sitting upright on the ground or on leaves, their little heads moving around as though they’re watching the travelers go by, kind of like the cave monks (see previous posting).

We took lots of pictures: me with my leech covered legs, my leech covered legs with the other travelers, close-ups, and a shot by shot re-creation of my fall off the rock. When we had enough pictures, I lit a cigarette to burn them off. One quick jab and off they come. Maow told me not to pull them off. They are far too slimy to get a good grip, and they end up leaving a piece of themselves in you, a little sticker device that secretes anti-coagulant, so you continue bleeding long after the rest of the leech is gone.

She showed me an old Thai hunter trick to prevent leech attack in the first place: take a wad of wet bulk tobacco and smear the juice all over your legs, then place the tobacco itself inside the rims of your socks and shoes. The leeches won’t go near you, they can’t stand the stuff. If you are barefoot or wearing flip-flops, which is usually the case with Thai hunters, smear the juice on your feet and stick the tobacco between your toes. Repeat after each time you fall into a river.

Funny how Maow hadn’t mentioned this earlier.

To be continued…